September 18, 2005

Hooker Bear Revival/Another Self Banning

For those of you who unaware, I had a little problem over a posting I did about Build-A-Bear Workshop. Here is the second installment for this concern of mine.

Several months ago when in a Build-A-Bear Workshop, my middle boy said quite loudly "hey look mom, it's hooker bear". She was dressed, in my opinion, inappropriately. I posted on this event and it was picked up by a New York reporter, a conservative one, with a blog even. But she however, completely misunderstood the posting. She accused me of saying in my post that the bear was labeled "hooker bear", which I did no such thing. How anyone could have assumed that is beyond me.

For a few weeks the CEO of BABW and I corresponded because my posting was brought to her attention. She was genuinely concerned for their product and wanted to know exactly what I saw and thought. My opinion remains the same today as it did at that time; the bear was dressed trampy. I received some hate mail, most likely from girls that worked at BABW, I received negative comments; and in the reporters blog I was verbally assaulted. Most said "how would her child even know what a hooker was anyway?". This of course from individuals who don't read my blog and were unaware that the child in question was 15 years old. Duhhhhhh!!!!!

Well, in the self-banning category again, I somewhat banned myself from BABW. I only pay in cash there now fearing that my name is hung up in a back room somewhere with a bulls-eye surrounding it. A few days ago, we went back to the mall and into BABW. Once again, we saw a bear wearing a cami, black leather mini skirt and black leather boots. And in addition this time, the skirt was so short that we could see the panties they placed on the bear.

Perhaps I'm too modest, perhaps I'm prude; but I still feel that this is inappropriate for a store that caters to young children. I tire of the overexposure of skin in our society and I don't think that dressing a bear with provocative clothing helps the situation any. When your daughters are reared in a society where their clothing is so minimal that the exposure of undergarments means nothing, then one needs not think too hard about what the following generations will consider acceptable.

Posted by Stacy at September 18, 2005 12:16 PM | TrackBack
Comments

Thank you, thank you, thank you! With two teenager girls, it is a nightmare to go clothes shopping anymore - everything is trampy looking, it seems like. I am pretty firm with them about what is acceptable to wear, so there usually aren't too many arguments over it - fortunately, they figured out a long time ago who's in charge. However, it's a pretty sad commentary when the 30-something cheerleading coach (at their Catholic school, no less)wears shirts which are too tight with a cleavage that plummets almost to the navel, and tight jeans which show the butt crack. (sorry - but it's true). BTW - have you seen the Bratz dolls?? Yewhhh -

Posted by: Valerie at September 18, 2005 12:32 PM

OMG Valerie, I just saw an ad for them the other day and they were wearing just underwear and a short, mid-drift exposting top!!! I couldn't believe it.

I'm changing skins on this blog soon and the lady working on the image for me suggested that I use the same girl and just add some fall leaves or something. My response was, can we put clothes on her? I never liked her clothing, it was just closest to what I was looking for. I am going with a different image entirely but, she has always bothered me.

And, I go to a VERY large church; I have complained before on my blog about the woman in the worship band. Her clothing is so tight that she must have to lubricate them to even get them on. A good male friend of mine at church told me once that it's very disturbing. He said, you know, I there, I'm trying to worship, and there she is standing there in those tight clothes. She's very pretty so men can't just ignore her, they're not wired that way. I have considered several times approaching the music minister and saying something to him about it. I'm just wound up enough right now, that I feel like e-mailing him this very minute.

Posted by: Stacy at September 18, 2005 12:50 PM

Well, I hope you have more luck with the music minister than what I had with the principal of the schoo. I contacted him after hearing the remarks about this woman coming from the boys at the high school - and his response was "There's nothing I can do about it". Who knows - perhaps he was enjoying watching her a little bit too much.
I love the facial features of the girl on your blogskin - is there anyway you can keep her but change the clothes?
Also - I absolutely "hated" doing this to ya- but I tagged you - so please check out my blog.

Posted by: Valerie at September 18, 2005 01:41 PM

I do think it's encouraging that you are fighting this stil. Cause if we let the little things slide, it just encourages the overall slide.

Posted by: Nettie at September 18, 2005 02:02 PM

Stacy you’re so right! Trampy dress should not be looked on so lightly. When little girls think trampy dress is ok, how can they make good decisions later? Consider that all young ladies have an innate need to be sexually noticed. If we don't establish standards early on we can expect disaster. I'm just glad my 15 year old girl has been pretty modest so far.

Posted by: bigwhitehat at September 18, 2005 02:27 PM

The main reason they are pissed is that they know you are RIGHT. We don't have these Bear stores around here in Montreal (or at least none that I've ever seen) but I can't believe they try catering to kids with this kind of stuff...
I have 3-year old twins and I intend to be strict about the way they dress when they grow out of the Children's Place collections...

Posted by: Louise at September 18, 2005 02:54 PM

You're not a prude at all, merely sensible. We have gone overboard on exposure.

Posted by: NYgirl at September 18, 2005 07:30 PM

I completely agree that it would be totally inappropriate in a children's store...we don't have any BABW here, but we have been in one in the Atlanta area. The kids loved it...and our bears have good clothes on!

But....

my daughter collects Bratz dolls....but she would no sooner DRESS like one...I still think alot of the way kids dress and act is in their upbringing, regardless of the toys and or games they play with (and that goes for boys as well, with war games and toys.

Posted by: Tammy at September 18, 2005 09:06 PM

That's funny. IT's funny that you go that much attention though. The fact that they were even concerned says a lot. They may not have handled it correctly, but since you even had contact with them speaks volumes.

Posted by: von at September 18, 2005 10:08 PM

Tammy, good point. It's the same with guns: people are always so afraid that kids raised in a household with guns will end up going on a shooting spree or killing themself with a gun. Not so. I was raised, along with 2 older brothers, in a household with 2 or 3 guns (a couple of .22 rifles and a 20 guage shotgun). We were taught to respect the guns, and knew that you only point it at something you intend to shoot--and, if it's living, kill. Nothing wrong with that, none of us are murderers. We know how to use guns, and more importantly, when and where.

So, yeah, it's all about the upbringing. Permissive parents have ceded their control over their kids to the prevailing culture; parents who exercise their authority judiciously can actually let their kids play with or watch things that would be considered "bad" with some fair amount of assurance that it won't adversely affect their kids, 'cause the parents put it IN PERSPECTIVE for the kids and set reasonable limits which are enforced consistently.

Posted by: Jeff H at September 18, 2005 10:19 PM

Fight the good fight, sister! It is an uphill battle against the TV deities, but corporations abhor controversy because it might affect sales. If enough people keep the pot boiling, change may happen.

It's particularly distressing when the church turns a blind eye to immodest dress by its leaders -- what message does it give to vulnerable believers...

Posted by: civil truth at September 18, 2005 10:31 PM

Damn, I am prude!!! Don't tell the hubby, he believes the opposite.

And don't get me wrong, we love BABW. I just hate seeing this stuff pushed on the kiddos, and it's everywhere. The constant exposure is overwhelming.

Posted by: Stacy at September 18, 2005 11:16 PM

I admire that you stick to your guns. You’re completely right that a Barely dressed bear has no place in a store where young impressionable minds are browsing. I see the clothes that grade 7 and 8 girls are wearing these days and it sickens me to think that their parents are letting them leave the house like that- I mean I looks like they walked off the set of a music video or something! I better stop before I rant to much…. I think you may have inspired my next post… I’ll see how that goes!

Steph

Posted by: Steph at September 19, 2005 10:58 AM

Hey Stacy - One more thing about taking on this battle with BABW - I do agree with civil truth about corporations abhoring controversery because it affects sales. A few months ago, we received a clothing catalog geared towards female teenagers. My girls and I looked through it, and I was keenly aware that there were no models of different races. My youngest is biracial, and I asked her what she thought of it. She said she noticed that in most advertising, the majority of models are white - and that it bothered her there were only white models in this catalog. So, together, she and I wrote an e-mail to the company about this. We received a "standard reply", so I called up customor service and asked where I could send a letter of complaint. The representative wanted to know what our complaint was about,and when I told her, there was the longest pause - and she said "I've never heard of a complaint like that one". I didn't respond to that, but again asked for a name and address, so she finally gave the info to me. I also asked to be taken off their catalog mailing list, and I reiterated why. I didn't hear a thing from the company, and wouldn't you know, we just received the fall/winter catalog in the mail. I almost threw it out, but I decided to look inside before I did. Guess what? There were SEVERAL models in there who were not white! So, keep up the fight - we can make a difference sometimes!

Posted by: Valerie at September 19, 2005 11:05 AM

Here's something else to add, WHERE THE HELL ARE THE FEMINISTS ON THIS ONE? When I was young I remember the battle over Barbies. The feminist movement, which wasn't all bad, pushed to add 'professional' Barbies'. Doctor Barbie, Lawyer Barbie, Astronaut Barbie; now you've got dolls dressed like crack whores and it's acceptable to the feminist? Sometimes I swear that I fell asleep and woke up in another dimension.

Posted by: Stacy at September 19, 2005 11:05 AM

It's wonderful to see that you don't lower the bar of your standards. Keep it raised like a flag for your children to also measure theirs up to.

Posted by: Darlene at September 20, 2005 12:22 AM

Damn, how did I miss this one???

We've been to BABW too, and maybe it's just where we live, but I missed that particular outfit--or maybe I just missed it in the chaos of the birthday party we were at.

That said, I'm with you a THOUSAND percent. BABW ought to not pander to the lowest common denominator with CHILDREN! If the parents like trashy clothes, they can buy and wear them themselves. Why push it on little girls?

Send me more info offline if you would, and if you have time, and I'll join you in this fight!

I'm about to go all crazy on Bratz too, for that matter...and the stupid Tacky My Scene Barbie, as well. I'm just sick and tired of seeing little girls being encouraged to dress provocatively--ESPECIALLY with all we hear nowadays about pedophilia. How BABW and Mattel, etc. don't understand this is beyond me.

Posted by: Beth at September 20, 2005 07:06 PM

Yea, I'll e-mail you the details Beth; it was interesting.

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