This all started quite accidently; it was innocent at first, but then the housewife got carried away. Apologies.
Item #1
Girl Sticks It to Boyfriend
CAMP HILL, Pa - Things got a little "sticky" for a 21-year-old Pennsylvania man when his 16-year-old girlfriend glued his penis to his abdomen to punish him for lying about another relationship.
According to a Camp Hill police sergeant, the two were sitting on the sofa in "some type of intimate encounter," when she took the Super Glue and "seized the moment." The man went to the hospital but was told there was nothing he could do except soak his penis until it freed itself. The girl was charged with simple assault.
Item #2
Ball Buster
A Romanian man had his testicles ripped off by his wife after she accused him of having an affair.
Fifty-year-old Aurica Marinescu from Constanta managed to call an ambulance before he passed out.
Doctors at a local hospital managed to re-attach his scrotum after a ten hour operation.
But despite his injuries, Marinescu says he won't press charges against his wife, according to the local daily Libertatea.
He said: "We were at home when we started to fight over a so-called relationship I had with another woman. She got so angry that she grabbed my scrotum and ripped it off.
"I wouldn't have said she was a strong woman but she was furious and she seemed to have superhuman strength in her anger.
The pain was incredible."
The man said his wife was very passionate and added he still loved her, which was why he did not want to cause her any problems by pressing charges.
What's the lesson here kiddos? Never, never, never cheat on your woman. We can be horribly vengeful. Dear husband has received his list of potential punishments should he ever walk down that road. And oh yea, the first story? Can we say 'statutory rape'? Stay away from the jail bait boys.
Uh, can you ladies please just leave our "members" alone?
Seriously, though, shouldn't some sort of charges be filed against the 21-year old glued penis guy for gettin' it on with a 16-year old?!?!
Posted by: Jeff H at July 27, 2005 11:22 AMIf charges should be filed, Don Johnson and Jerry Seinfeld should be in jail right now, no?
Posted by: Aaron at July 27, 2005 11:37 AMHoly God in heaven. Just reading thoughs stories makes me cringe.
Yeah, I'm with Jeff..Leave our "members" alone.
RR
Posted by: RegularRon at July 27, 2005 11:39 AMUm, leave them alone? That's funny. The first story-my first thought was "okay she was charged with assault while he was charged with what? Nothing? Aren't statutory rape laws pretty consistent throughout our country?"
Posted by: Stacy at July 27, 2005 11:52 AMConsistent, yes. Consistently applied, no.
And my member wishes to remain in seclusion for the next few days, until an "all clear" has been issued.
Posted by: Jeff H at July 27, 2005 01:24 PMI wonder if the other guys reading this are like me, experiencing a vaguely uncomfortable feeling "down south." Sympathy pains, I guess.
I'm so glad Johnson Week is over and done.
Posted by: Admin Worm at July 27, 2005 01:30 PMThe wages of sin cheating men, the wages of sin ;)
I wrote for God's Gals today. Thanks for helping to show me the way!
Your Sister In Christ,
Posted by: Paula at July 27, 2005 01:44 PMTrue Paula, LOL. True story: My husband has an extensive collection of construction equipment models. (I'll try not to vent about his little problem.) Okay, anyway, one of his fellow collector friends had, HAD, a collection worth about $500,000. After having an extra-marital affair his wife went into his display room with a baseball bat and vented her anger. I've told my husband I will just seek to liquify his collection, that would be just as painful to him as me actually destroying them.
Posted by: Stacy at July 27, 2005 02:07 PM"The pain was incredible." Gee, ya' think?
As someone who, as a single man, was once referred to by one of my female partners as "the throbbing member of our law firm," I'm happy those days are "behind me" so to speak, and that I'm long since happily and faithfully married. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.
Posted by: Kevin at July 27, 2005 02:14 PMI couldn't even read this whole thing it was so painful.
Posted by: Jay at July 27, 2005 02:32 PMCamp Hill is about 20 Mi. North of me. That means nothing, it did make me wonder about how long before he was free again and at what angle it was stuck. If he had to relieve himself, at what angle did he have to make himself or just how was the problem handled?
Posted by: Paul of York at July 27, 2005 03:06 PMShades of Lorena Bobbit.
Posted by: Nettie at July 27, 2005 03:12 PMPaul, that never crossed my mind. But as someone who once super-glued her fingers together; finger nail polish remover (with acetone) works wonderfully. ;)
Posted by: Stacy at July 27, 2005 03:41 PMKevin, in my experience, hell hath no fury like a scornful woman. Particularly one who is a borderline personality disorder.
Posted by: Jeff H at July 27, 2005 06:03 PMAhhh Jeez, Stacy, thanks for making me have to walk around hunched over, with my legs crossed, for the rest of the day.
I am elated to see the end (poor choice of words?) of penis week. As an equal opportunity offender, shouldn't you now break out the hooters and cooters? At least you could run one of those pictures of Jessica Simpson from Jeff's site to ease the pain a little...
Posted by: Beast7 at July 27, 2005 07:59 PMLOL! I needed a laugh this week. Thanks.
Posted by: VW Bug at July 27, 2005 09:32 PMActually, in all fairness, I was going to do a vagina week. But it's not an apendage, so I highly doubt there are as many stories out there about them. VW-I am to please.
Posted by: Stacy at July 27, 2005 11:00 PMStacy, please, please and PRETTY PLEASE spare us another version of the Vagina Monologues!!!
Posted by: Jeff H at July 27, 2005 11:58 PMOMG! :) I know I'm a few days late commenting herre...but thank you for the giggle, Stacy...I needed that!
Posted by: Tammy at July 29, 2005 08:13 PMits good to be single.
Posted by: shane at October 17, 2005 06:36 AMHA HA HA HA men deserve that
Posted by: Smiley at November 3, 2005 09:49 AMPaula and Kevin put it best! "applaud"
Posted by: Smiley at November 3, 2005 09:52 AM