Colorado Quirks

A friend of mine forwarded an e-mail to me that was funny, well, for a Coloradoan or Coloradan; that one is still fought over.

Anyway, extended entry; my local readers will love it.

>>About COLORADANS from a Jeff Foxworthy SHOW
>>
>>1. You switch from "Heat" to "A/C" in one day.
>>
>>2. You know what the "Peoples Republic of Boulder" means.
>>
>>3. Your sense of direction is: towards the mountains and away from
>>the
>>mountains.
>>
>>4. You're a meat-eating vegetarian.
>>
>>5. The bike on your car is worth more than your car and you have
>>your
>>own special bike lane
>>
>>6. You're able to drive 65 miles per hour through 13 feet of snow
>>during
>>a raging blizzard without even flinching.
>>
>>7. You take your out-of-town guests to Casa Bonita even though you
>>would
>>never go there otherwise.
>>
>>8. You think your major food groups are granola bars, tofu and Fat
>>Tire
>>Beer.
>>
>>9. You design your kid's Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit.
>>
>>10. You think that sexy lingerie is wool socks and flannel PJs.
>>
>>11. You know all 4 seasons "almost winter, winter, still winter and
>>spring blizzards
>>
>>12. You've been tear gassed in a riot to celebrate a CU/CSU's
>>victory.
>>
>>13. You can never figure out why your out-of-town guests faint from
>>altitude sickness on a picnic to the mountains.
>>
>>14. You can drive over a 12,000 foot pass in 4 feet of snow, but
>>can't
>>get to work if there are 4 inches of snow.
>>
>>15. You know the 'correct' pronunciation of Buena Vista.
>>
>>16. When you visit friends at sea level, you can drink a case of
>>beer
>>and not get a buzz.
>>
>>17. Your car insurance costs more than your car.
>>
>>18. You have surge protectors on every outlet.
>>
>>19. April showers bring May blizzards.
>>
>>20. 'Timberline' is someplace you have actually been.
>>
>>21. You know what a 'Chinook' is
>>
>>22. You know what a 'Rocky Mountain Oyster' is.
>>
>>23. You know what a "fourteener" is.
>>
>>24. But you don't know what a"turn signal" is.
>>
>>25. A bear on your front porch doesn't bother you nearly as much as
>>a
>>Democrat in Congress does.
>>
>>26. Your golf bag has a 9-iron, a 3-wood and a lightning rod.
>>
>>27. You know who Alfred Packer was and did.
>>
>>28. You know who Baby Doe Tabor was.
>>
>>29. SPF 90 is not out of the question.
>>
>>30. People from out of state breathe 5 times as often as you do.
>>
>>31. Having a Senator named Nighthorse doesn't seem strange.
>>
>>32. Thunder has set off your car alarm.
>>
>>33. A full moon has never kept you awake at night.
>>
>>34. You have an $800 stereo in your $300 truck.
>>
>>35. A sudden loss of cabin pressure is not a big deal.
>>
>>36. You think a red light means 3 more cars can go.
>>
>>37. Where we're going, we don't need roads!!
>>
>>38. You know where Doc Holliday's grave is.
>>
>>39. You know where Buffalo Bill's grave is.
>>
>>40. You know where the real "South Park" is.
>>
>>41. You can recognize the license plates of all 50 states on sight.
>>
>>42. Driving directions usually include 'Go over _________ Pass.'
>>
>>43. You've 'checked for ticks'
>>
>>44. You've dressed in shorts, sandals, and a parka w/ a hood.
>>
>>45. You've gone snow skiing in July and...
>>
>>46. You've gone sunbathing in January and...
>>
>>47. They were in the same year!
>>
>>48. You've urinated on the Continental Divide just so it could 'run
>>into
>>both oceans.
>>
>>49. And the most important: You get a certain feeling of
>>satisfaction
>>from knowing that California and Texas are both downstream.
>>
>>50. You actually understand these jokes and send them to your
>>Colorado
>>friends