Hypothetical, But 'Wouldn't Be Surprised' Press Statement From The ACLU

"We at the ACLU believe that church related charities and church's themselves should not be allowed to offer relief to any of the victims of Hurricane Katrina. There is a possibility that these organizations might evangelize and expose citizens to unwelcome religious beliefs. Furthermore, we would like to see Congress enact legislation that removes tax benefits from charitable contributions to organizations such as these. It is the simple law of church/state activities. The responsibility of caretaking for these victims is solely the governments. Federal, state and local governmental agencies need to hire individuals at a rate of $25 per hour to feed refugees in order to remove the threat of evangelizing volunteers. We feel that this can best be accomplished by hiring illegal aliens who need employment. Additionally, any further actions taken in these efforts to assist the victims, needs to come through us first. We will tell you if you're allowed to assist or not. Thank you."